The Idle Mind: Reinitialized

May 28, 2008

Forgive me, I haven’t done this lately. It’s not that I have lost the heart to write, nor taken this for granted - It’s just that my mind, no, my entire being is overflowing with thoughts of you. There is great difficulty in finding the words for you. My mind would often tell me to describe you as gentle but forceful, kind with a warmth of cruelty, sometimes cold, yet always loving. You are my conscience and my demon, my angelic guardian and my wild vixen.

You are my measure for every woman, and in your love I find a measure of everything that is to be. You are my perfect irony, my linear paradox. You are the contradiction in my heart, my being, the only contradiction that makes sense of it all.

There are no words that will give justice to who you are in my life.

I want to devour you. I want to put my entire being so close to you so that our souls touch and return to being one as it was originally made thousands of years ago. There is no amount of physical contact that will satisfy my strong desire to integrate our being. I want to be that thick silk comforter that embraces you, My heart answers only to your voice, the blood in my veins only to your footsteps.

So to my you, my Cherryl, my Pangga, the graceful mother of my child, my secret joy, my imperishable treasure, to you whom I love more than a hundred thousand times, an addiction that my heart longs for every passing moment - I want nothing more but walk all remaining sunsets side by side with you.

It’s only our 2nd anniversary and I want you more than ever.

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